


Never Too Late to be Someone You're Not

by cygnaut



Series: Try, Try Again [2]
Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies), X-Men: Days of Future Past
Genre: Crossing Timelines, First Time, M/M, Post-X-Men: Days of Future Past, The "Good" Alternative Timeline, for one of them anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-16
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2019-02-15 14:24:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13033044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cygnaut/pseuds/cygnaut
Summary: "I'm sorry that… we couldn't make it work."Scott shrugged. "'Try, try again' has always been our motto."In the new timeline, Scott and Logan sort out what Logan's changed past means for their future.





	Never Too Late to be Someone You're Not

**Author's Note:**

  * For [NaughtyAnne](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NaughtyAnne/gifts).



> So, after I finished and posted my gift for you, I realized I actually had more to say about these two and their post-XMA relationship. I sure hope you liked the first part NaughtyAnne, because... there's more.

Scott wasn't exactly avoiding Logan, but he didn't seek him out in the days following their conversation in Professor Xavier's office. It wasn't that he blamed Logan for what had happened, but it still felt like a gut punch whenever Scott remembered Logan was no longer the same man he had loved and fought with for years. 

Scott felt guilty they hadn't talked properly since that day, but not enough to overcome his discomfort about the situation. It was nearly a week before they were alone together again, and Logan had to come seek him out. 

Scott had just returned to his room after grabbing a late dinner and was thinking about going to bed early when Logan walked past. The door was open and he paused to lean against the doorway and peer into Scott's room. "It feels like everything here is the same as I remember, but in the wrong place," he said, frowning to himself. "Back when I lived at the mansion, this was _my_ room."

Scott winced. "Uh, it used to be here too. I kind of… stayed after you moved out." 

Logan rubbed the bridge of his nose and sighed. "Right. That explains that." 

Scott cleared his throat. "You want to, uh, sit down?" he asked, nodding to the card table in the corner, which was left from the regular teachers' poker night Scott had hosted recently. "I was going to have a beer." He wasn't actually, but it was the only way Scott could think of to convince Logan to stay.

Logan looked uncomfortable, but he must have been lonely because after a moment's hesitation he shrugged and stepped inside. 

Scott knelt down to look in his mini fridge. There were still several beers left from poker night, including two Mooseheads brought by Logan himself. He’d left them behind after he'd stomped out grumbling that Kitty was a dirty cheater. Not _this_ Logan, of course. Scott's Logan, the one who had died without the courtesy of leaving a body for him to mourn. Instead, his body was still walking around, inhabited by a different version of Logan who Scott would probably be mad at if he didn't look so lost and confused all the time. 

Scott opened the beers and put one in front of Logan without commenting on its origins. In a weird way, the beers were Logan’s parting gift to Scott. It seemed fitting to drink them with his alternate self. 

“How are you… adjusting?” Scott asked. 

Logan grunted in response and shrugged, which Scott interpreted as “how do you think?”

They sat and drank together in silence, each caught up in his own thoughts. Scott took the opportunity to study Logan, who looked both exactly the same and incredibly changed. His beard was a little scruffier than normal, but otherwise his outside appearance seemed unchanged. But _internally—_ the way he carried himself, his expressions, moods—it was all so different. His cockiness was gone, replaced with hesitation and uncertainty about the world and his place in it. He seemed so raw whenever Scott encountered him, like his emotions were closer to the surface and less prone to being covered up with anger. In a lot of ways it was nice seeing Logan be so open and free with his emotions, but it was also painful seeing how damaged he was by his experiences in the alternative timeline. 

Scott kept thinking about it like they’d swapping places; worrying that _his_ Logan was off in a nightmare dimension where most of his friends had died and mutants had been hunted to extinction. But that wasn’t right. It was an erasure, not an exchange. The timeline had been rewritten; there was no other Logan anymore. But that also didn’t feel right. How could a person simply vanish? Recorded over like an old VHS tape. 

Scott didn’t put much stock in the concept of eternal souls and the orthodox vision of heaven, but he’d seen enough weirdness in his life to believe that there might be _something_ after this life was over. Where did the soul of an alternative self go after being displaced in a time travel mishap? Were the two versions of Logan two souls who happened to inhabit the same body at different points in time? Or were they the same soul, but operating with different memories? He’d always told Logan that his memories didn’t matter, that the core of him was the same no matter what. Scott thought of it like the ocean floor, Logan’s personality solid and undisturbed despite the tumultuous storms which raged at the surface level of his conscious thoughts and memories. 

Logan cleared his throat about halfway through his beer and interrupted Scott’s thoughts. “I’ve been thinking about… us,” he said. 

“Oh?” Scott wasn’t sure how to interpret that, and also wasn’t sure he wanted to talk about their relationship right now. “How so?”

“Just wondering, you know, if things had been different, in my timeline…” Logan drifted off, looking down at his beer bottle and peeling at the label. “But I already know the answer to that, right? Things _were_ different _._ Here.”

“Guess so,” Scott said. 

Scott still believed that Logan was Logan, no matter how much he remembered, but he wasn’t sure he had the energy to build up a new relationship with this stranger, however familiar he might seem. It felt like laying the foundations of a house on sinking sand—it might be stable for a few years, but eventually the house would be swallowed up again and vanish. 

At the same time, it was hard not to feel drawn to him when he looked at Scott with that lost expression and said, “What were we—like?”

“I don’t know,” Scott looked away. “Like that annoying couple who bickers like they’re joking when they really mean it.”

“But we weren’t always fighting?”

“No,” Scott admitted. “That was more after we separated… I don’t know, it wasn’t that we didn’t—sometimes you love each other but it’s still not enough, you know.”

Logan was looking away, but from his expression he knew exactly what Scott meant. “Yeah. I get that, I guess it’s just making sense of—love and you and me in the same sentence.”

“Is it—“ Scott cleared his throat. “The with-a-guy part?”

Logan snorted and took a sip of his beer. “No, although you’re not my usual type.”

“Ah, okay, I wasn’t sure if you’d… figured that out in your timeline.”

“Yeah, well, somehow even when I have total amnesia I still remember how to fuck.” He meant it in a self-deprecating way, but Scott’s heart skipped a beat and he felt an unexpected pulse of desire. It had been a while and Scott knew from experience _exactly_ how good Logan was in bed even with amnesia. He took a sip of his beer and hoped he was far enough away that Logan wouldn’t smell his interest all over him. 

Logan cleared his throat, "How, uh, how long were you together?" he asked, probably redirecting the conversation for Scott's benefit. "Ballpark if not consecutively.”

“Our longest streak was about five years."

Logan nodded, looking mildly impressed. "Better than a lot of people manage."

"I guess," Scott said. "Doesn't mean it didn't hurt. We both always needed too much space while wanting more than the other could give.”

“Space…” Logan said. “Yeah, I got a lot of space in my life. Time to yourself starts to lose its appeal once most of your friends are dead.”

Scott took a drink, not really knowing what to say to that. 

Logan wasn't looking at him as he continued, talking now like it was more for his own benefit than for Scott's. “Took a while, but eventually I realized that… whatever happens, I’ll have plenty of time to myself after the world ends.”

Scott grimaced. He didn’t like hearing Logan sound so fatalistic, and he _really_ didn’t like thinking about what Logan’s advanced age meant for his relationships. When he was in his thirties, Logan’s long life had been an abstraction to Scott, an interesting facet of a man he loved, but now that he was was rounding fifty, it was disturbing to think about growing old while Logan stayed relatively unchanged and functionally immortal. 

Logan tipped back the last of his beer and set the bottle down on the table as he stood. "Thanks for the company. I should get going, let you get some rest."

"You don't have to," Scott said. He meant that Logan could have another beer, but when he looked up and met his gaze, the air between them was charged. 

Logan's eyes roamed down Scott's chest, hunger obvious on his face before he took a step back and wrenched his head away. "No," he said, edging toward the door. "Shouldn't."

Scott reached for him and Logan stopped even though Scott was too far away to actually stop him. 

"Don't," Scott said. He kept his hand extended, holding it out to Logan who looked at him like a lost man debating whether or not to trust a stranger's offer of help. He didn't take Scott's hand, but he did come closer to him, moving into Scott's space and touching his shoulder tentatively. Logan took hold of Scott's shirt, balling it up in his fist and pulling him upward to stand.

Scott got up and didn't let Logan hesitate or pull away. He kissed him quickly and slightly off center before either of them could have second thoughts. In response, Logan pulled him in close and kissed back fiercely, pressing their lips together hard. It was almost more like a breakdown than a kiss, like both of them were on the verge of something terrible and their only respite was each other. 

They kept kissing, biting and tearing at one another like it was their last and only chance to fuck. Scott was glad, kissing was so much easier than talking and he knew exactly how to handle Logan in bed no matter what memories he had. It felt good to be back on familiar territory with him, however ill-advised it might be. 

Scott steered Logan toward the bed, and they landed on it together, kissing and pulling at each other's clothes in a rush of limbs. 

"This is probably a bad idea," Logan said as he unbuttoned Scott's pants and helped him kick them off. 

Scott shrugged and turned his attention to removing Logan's t-shirt. "Not like that's stopped me from having sex with you before."

Logan laughed and covered his face for a moment before submitting to Scott's insistent hands and raising his arms over his head. "Okay," he said once his shirt was on the floor. "What do you, uh, what do you like?"

Scott blinked at him and couldn't help thinking about how _easy_ it used to be to fall into bed with Logan. It's why it kept happening, long after Scott knew he should resist. Now suddenly they were back to being strangers fumbling at each other in the dark. Or Logan was anyway. 

"We don't have to do what I want," Scott said, reflexively turning the attention away from himself like he always did in bed. "What about you?"

Logan paused with his hand on his zipper and licked his lips. "I could—could I fuck you?" he looked away, suddenly thoughtful. "If you… like that?"

Scott fought hard to keep a straight face. "I do, and sure. That would be nice." 

Scott knew all the jokes Logan might make in response to that, and he didn't disappoint. His lips curled up into a smirk and he said, "Hopefully it will be better than _nice._ " As a counterpoint to his words, Logan pushed his jeans down his hips and climbed out of them, completely naked for Scott's enjoyment. 

Scott couldn't help smiling back. "I'm sure it will be," he said, and reached up to press a kiss against the side of Logan's mouth.

Logan caught the back of Scott's head with one hand and pulled him into a deeper kiss. There was a hesitancy in his movements that Scott wasn't used to from him, but he still kissed the same way. It was close enough to pretend, close enough to forget for just a little while. 

Logan seemed content to keep kissing, but Scott was ready to move things along. He turned to fumble through the drawer on his nightstand for the bottle of lube. They hadn't actually had sex in months (Scott had been making a valiant effort to abstain from Logan) and he was _more_ than ready to climb back in the saddle—so to speak. 

Logan hid his surprise, but Scott could tell he was taken aback. He probably hadn't registered that they were actually going to have sex, despite talking about it moments earlier. Now that Scott was climbing onto his lap and popping open the bottle, it suddenly felt real. 

Logan touched his hand and asked softly, "Can I—?"

"Oh, yeah," Scott said, passing the lube to him and watching as Logan slicked his fingers. 

Scott shifted forward in his lap and Logan reached around him to grab his ass. He kneaded his cheeks for a moment before his fingers found Scott's hole and pushed inside. 

"Mh," Scott closed his eyes while he relaxed into the penetration. He moaned to encourage Logan to pick up the pace and was soon rocking back on his hand. It felt so damn good to have Logan fingering him. Soon he'd be fucking him and Scott could get lost in that and forget about all the stress and grief of the past week. 

When Scott opened his eyes Logan was staring at him with naked need all over his face. It was a turn on, like it always was to have Logan wanting him, even if this time there was an edge of new discovery that wasn’t normally there. Scott reached down between them and stroked Logan's cock, finding him already fully hard. Logan let out a gasp at his touch and bucked up into his hand. 

All of Logan's emotions and vulnerability came out on display in bed the way they never did outside of it. It was addicting, and part of the reason Scott could never stay away when Logan hinted at wanting to sleep with him again. Some crisis happened, they fucked in the moment, and the next morning it was back to the same old arguments. Scott had long since learned that a good sex life was not enough to make up for incompatible emotional needs, but here he was falling for it one more time. 

Not wanting to wait any longer, Scott shifted forward in Logan's lap and got in position above him. Logan pulled his fingers away and lay back so he was staring up at Scott as he straddled him. That gave Scott plenty of room to work and also left him running the show, which was an interesting choice for Logan. 

Scott released the breath he was holding as he pressed down and Logan’s cock breached him. That familiar hot slide, the uncomfortable stretch before he was seated and Logan felt so full inside of him. Logan grunted and whined in the back of his throat. His hands skittered across Scott's thighs at the sensations, but he held back from thrusting into him. God, he was hot like this. 

Scott held still for only a moment before rocking up and back down again nice and slow. Logan tilted his head back and closed his eyes for a moment and Scott drank in the sight of him. Logan's throat moved as he swallowed, body taunt and every muscle straining as Scott swayed on top of him. They rarely had sex like this—deliberate and careful and taking their time. Not unless Scott was injured. It felt luxurious to ride Logan at such a slow pace and not get tipped over immediately so Logan could take control. 

Logan was rolling his hips up to meet Scott and holding onto him tightly as they moved together. He was breathing heavily already and his eyes kept darting from Scott's face to his chest to his dick and back up again. Previously, Logan tended to react to Scott on top of him like it was something owed to him by the universe; Scott always found his supreme confidence hot if also very annoying. It was disconcerting now to have Logan staring up at him like a miracle was taking place and he couldn't blink for fear of missing a single millisecond.

Feeling self-conscious suddenly, Scott climbed off of Logan and turned over to lie on his back on the bed. "Come on," he said, pulling at Logan's arm and coaxing him to get on top of him.

Logan followed his lead eagerly and helped Scott rearrange his legs so he could get back inside of him. 

"Yeah, like that," Scott said, twisting his hips once they found the right angle and Logan was pushing into him. 

Logan grunted in response and braced himself so he was leaning over Scott and looking into his face as he ground down against him. He copied Scott's earlier pace and kept going slow and deliberate. Scott bit his lip and thought about asking Logan to switch positions again so he was on his stomach. He thought it might be too obvious that he wanted to avoid looking at him. It was just that it was disquieting to have Logan staring down at him with that loving look as if each thrust was a revelation. Scott wanted to forget about the confusion of bodies and minds and alternative timelines, not be forced to face a stranger in his lover's body and see all of Logan's confused feelings for him.

Instead of turning over, Scott pulled his legs up higher and dug his heels into Logan's sides to express his frustration. " _Logan_ ," he said. "Come on, fuck me." 

Logan snorted and his eyes crinkled with painfully sweet affection. "Pretty sure I am fucking you." 

"I mean _faster_ ," Scott said. "Come _on_."

Logan was still laughing at him, but he raised his hips and snapped them back down hard, using his body weight to do the work for him. Scott hissed and wrapped his legs around his waist, barely getting hold of him before Logan was pounding into him roughly over and over.

“Fuck,” Scott gasped. “Yeah—like that, oh god, Logan!”

Now, finally, he was getting what he wanted, Logan riding him hard and pleasure building to a crescendo that would wash away his thoughts and emotions. Scott wanted to white out, to fall into oblivion even if for only a few sweet second. He didn't quite get there, but some of the tension in his chest relaxed as he came, hot fluid splattering over his chest and belly. Logan nearly shouted and let out a strangled roar as he came himself, thrusting and grinding for a long moment before he collapsed next to Scott on the bed. 

"Oh, god," Scott said once he had his breath back. "Thanks, I needed that."

Logan chuckled and turned over to face him. "Likewise, wow."

"Yeah, we, uh, we're pretty good at sex." 

"Another thing that's better in this universe," Logan said and rested his head on Scott's shoulder. He still had that raw open expression on his face, and Scott had to look away up and stare up at the ceiling. It was too much, why was it still too much? 

Logan ran his hand down Scott's bare chest, tracing his fingers over his muscles and examining him like Scott was new territory he needed to map and leave his mark on. "I get it," he said. "Even if we didn't—have that. Where I'm from. I get it."

Scott pressed his lips together, unable to reply. His face felt hot and he willed the tears welling behind his eyes to stop. Crying was such a mess for him. He'd have to take off his visor and then he wouldn't be able to see and he'd have to clean his face and—

It took a few deep breaths, but Scott got control of himself. "I miss him," he admitted. 

Logan nodded, his hair brushing against the side of Scott's face. "I know I'm not the same… but if... you… if…” Logan stopped, unable to finish the thought. 

Scott waited a few seconds to see if he would continue before he licked his lips and asked, "Do you want to—try?"

Logan was silent, and Scott wondered if he needed to be clearer about what he was asking. He wasn't entirely sure what he meant himself. Try again? Try for the first time? Try to… what?

Logan sniffed and wiped his face with his hand. "Thing is… my emotions are all scrambled up and confused right now, which isn't really fair to you…"

Scott's throat closed up and he was searching for something comforting to say, something that made it sound like he was fine with that and not heartbroken. 

"But…" Logan continued, pausing to take a breath and let it out slowly. "But we never got a chance in the—in my previous life. And now I'm here and… these days, when something good happens, I don’t question it." 

"Oh?" Scott said, wanting to be sure he understood him correctly.

"Yeah, I want to try," Logan said. He tilted his head up to look at Scott's face and this time Scott met his gaze and didn't need to look away. 

"It doesn't have to be anything yet," Scott pointed out. "We can take some time to figure it out. Just because he and I used to be married doesn't mean we have to jump into the deep end.”

Logan sat up looking complete dumbfounded. "We were _married?"_

"Uh… did I not tell you that?" Scott asked. 

"No!”

Logan looked so shellshocked that Scott wanted to laugh at him, but he did his best to keep it inside. "Oh, sorry."

"How long were we _married?_ " 

Scott shrugged. "Not that long, it was a mistake honestly. There was this resurgence of the apocalypse cult—well, the details aren't important but we kind of did it spur of the moment without thinking we'd have a lot of time to _be_ married. And I guess to sort of… patch over the problems we were having."

"Ah," Logan said. "Right." 

"It didn't work," Scott added, unnecessarily. "After the world-ending danger was gone, we were married and all the same problems were still there." 

Logan nodded. "I'm sorry that… we couldn't make it work."

Scott shrugged. "'Try, try again' has always been our motto." 

"There's always next time?" Logan asked, sounding hopeful. He reached down and took Scott’s hand, entwining their fingers. 

"Exactly." Scott squeezed his hand and wondered if it was a betrayal to try one more time with _this_ Logan. Was it cheating if it was with an alternative version of your partner inhabiting the same body? Thinking about it made Scott tired, and his Logan likely wasn't coming back to give his input any time soon. He was pretty sure Logan would want him to be happy, even if it wasn't with him. That had been the excuse for most of their breakups—"I'm no good for you, Scott, it's for the best." Logan never seemed to care that Scott's version of "for the best" differed from his own. 

Scott pushed aside his bitter thoughts and focused on the man in front of him; _his_ Logan wasn't here, but maybe this could be his Logan too. 

Logan must have seen his uncertainty, because he smiled in a way that didn't reach his eyes and asked softly, "Are you sure?"

Scott sat up and kissed him, trying to be firm and decisive in a way which would banish both their fears. "Yes. I think… it's not too late."

"I hope so," Logan said, and kissed him back fervently. 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Back Here Again](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13352178) by [notacollegeboy (Aaron_The_8th_Demon)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aaron_The_8th_Demon/pseuds/notacollegeboy)




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